DAY 73
09.45am
Most of the housemates are still in bed. Carole, who late last night discovered a teaspoon with a slight blemish on the handle, is in the kitchen polishing the cutlery, while muttering under her breath. Carole has been polishing the cutlery while muttering under her breath for 1 hour and 17 minutes.
Sam and Amanda are in the bathroom talking about Brian. Earlier in the week Brian and Amanda were kissing under a blanket in the caravan. Sam is asking Amanda if Brian is a good kisser? and whether he tried to use his tongue during the kiss? Amanda and Sam look at each other in disgust and make an EURGHHH!!!! sound before giggling very loudly. Amanda then tells Sam that Brian wouldn`t do such a thing, as he is a very nice boy, and that tongue kissing is for dirty people. Sam then tells Amanda that she has heard that lots of boys kiss using their tongues, as it can be very romantic. Sam and Amanda look at each other in disgust again, before once more making an EURGHHH!!!! sound and pretending to be sick in on the floor. After pretending to be sick Sam starts to look confused, and tells Amanda, that as Big Brother has now made them one housemate, does that mean that they are both going out with Brian at the same time. Amanda tells Sam she doesn`t know, and suggests that they both go and ask Big Brother, Sam agrees, before taking hold of Amanda`s hand, and skipping away playfully to the diary room.
11.15am
Most of the housemates are in the garden. Tracey is in the caravan. Proper Avin it, and keeping it real, by having a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake with the Crowman.
Jonty is in the diary room, crouching behind the diary room chair, speaking in his Munkety Tunkety voice, while Munkety Tunkety talks to Big Brother. Munkety Tunkety is telling Big Brother how he is thinking about leaving the house. Because although he cares for Jonty very much, he came onto the show to be his own person, and he feels that by being so close to Jonty, he is alienating himself from the rest of the housemates. As whenever he and Jonty are engaged in a conversation with someone, Jonty will invariably embarrass them both by laughing at inappropriate moments, and behaving in a childlike manner. Big Brother advises Munkety Tunkety to talk things over with Jonty, before making a final decision about leaving. Jonty, who is now speaking in his own voice, agrees with Big Brother, and tells Munkety Tunkety that from now on he will try to act more like an adult, before burping very loudly, breaking wind, and then rolling around on the floor while giggling like a schoolboy.
1.54pm
Some of the housemates are in the lounge. Amy and Liam are in the bedroom talking about Carole. Earlier in the week, Amy, Kara Louise and Jonty were shown the nominations, during which Carole nominated Amy because she felt she was a bit of a slapper, who would quite willingly go to any lengths to further her career. Amy is naked apart from her panties, and is walking around the room continually jiggling her enormous breasts up and down in front of the Liam`s face, while telling him that she still can`t believe Carole would say such things. As since she arrived all she has ever tried to be is herself. Liam agrees with Amy, before asking her if he can have a quick squeeze of her t1ts like? Amy takes Liam`s hands and places them on her breasts while telling him that despite what Carole said. She is not a slapper, and there are definitely some lengths she will not go to just to further her career as a glamour model. Before licking her finger and popping it in and out of his mouth, while staring seductively into his eyes.
Liam, and the writer of this spoiler have each had an erection for 14 minutes.
3.10pm
Sam and Amanda are splashing around in the pool. Liam, Brian, Ziggy and Tracey are in the smoking area talking about sex. Liam tells them that the first time he had sex was when he was 12 years old, and that although he didn`t really understand what was happening, it was still a canny experience like, and he really enjoyed it.
Ziggy then tells them that he lost his virginity at 15, and how it was, you know, an incredibly tender and wonderful experience for them both, and that he really cared about her, and how he cried at least 4 times after she left.
Tracey then tells them that the first time she was Proper Aving it, was at the age of 31, after plying the local down and out with alcohol and dragging him reluctantly back to her caravan. She then tells them that despite her expectations, it was a truly awful, stomach churning experience, and that she didn`t enjoy it very much either.
Liam, Ziggy and Tacey then ask Brian when he lost his virginity? Brian starts laughing nervously while staring at Amanda and tells them that he hopes it will be soon. Before calling them a bunch of doughnuts, telling them to shut up, and running away to hide in the bedroom.
4.55pm
Kara Louise is sitting on her own in the kitchen, giggling nervously while playing with her hair, and is not quite sure what to do with herself.
Sam, Amanda and Carole are in the bedroom talking. Earlier in the day Big Brother informed the twins that as they are now classed as one housemate, both of them have to attend any future dates with Brian. As both Sam and Amanda have a date with Brian this evening, Carole is explaining to them about the birds and the bees. Carole tells Sam and Amanda that when two people love each other very much. They will often try to enjoy intimate knowledge of each other when they are alone. Amanda and Sam tell Carole that they don`t know what she means? So Carole explains to them that when a man and woman are on a date, the man will often try touch their lumpy bits, before attempting to insert his penis into their special secret place. Amanda and Sam look at each other in disgust, and make an EURGHHH!!!! sound, before giggling very loudly. Carole then tells them that if Brian tries to do that, they must insist he wears a condom on his penis, because if Brian manages to find his way inside their special secret places, they may both end up expecting a baby. Sam and Amanda look at each other in disgust again, before once more making an EURGHHH!!!! sound, and pretending to be sick in on the floor. Sam and Amanda then tell Carole that now she is being silly, as everyone knows you can`t get pregnant the first time, and besides there isn`t even a stork living in the house. Before taking each others hand, and skipping away playfully to the garden.
7.55pm
Most of the housemates are in the lounge. Jonty, Munkety Tunkety and Gerry are in the garden talking about the effects of homosexuality on Greek culture during the 9th century, specifically between the years of 842ad and 848ad. While Gerry believes the effects of homosexuality on Greek culture during the 9th century, specifically between the years of 842ad and 848ad, was in fact, not very good. Jonty firmly believes that homosexuality had the opposite effect, and actually enhanced the countries cultural status during that period. Especially during the year 847ad when the cultural status of Greece hit an all time high. Gerry Disagrees and is about to make a very interesting point to back up his argument, when Jonty suddenly burps very loudly, breaks wind, and then begins rolling around on the floor while giggling like a schoolboy. Gerry tells Jonty that he is absolutely disgusting, and asks him how they are supposed to have a serious conversation when he insists on acting so immaturely. Jonty then begins speaking in his Munkety Tunkety voice, and tells himself that he is a complete embarrassment, and how he is going to speak to Big Brother again about leaving. Before Jonty stretches his Munkety Tunkety arm out in front of him and marches off to the diary room, with Jonty following close behind, while pretending that he really doesn`t want to go.
Gerry who is watching begins shaking his head, and tells his monkey that Jonty is an idiot, before stroking his monkeys belly and asking him what he would like for tea?
9.25pm
All of the housemates have been gathered in the lounge as Davina announces that Amy is the next person to be evicted from the Big Brother house. While Liam begins to console her, Amy becomes so upset that she immediately removes all of her clothes and begins jiggling her enormous breasts up and down in front of the camera. Amy tells Liam that she is going to miss him, and that despite what people said, she has only ever tried to be herself while in the house, and that she wasn`t after his money, or using him as a stepping stone to further her career as a glamour model. Liam nods his head, before asking Amy if he can have one last squeeze of her t1ts before she leaves, as he thinks she has a canny pair of knockers on her like. Amy agrees, before taking Liam`s hands and placing them on her enormous breasts, while staring seductively into his eyes. As Tracey and Carole walk out of the room while shaking their heads in disgust. Brian, Ziggy, Jonty, and Tonkety Wonkety, all begin to form an orderly queue behind Liam, while slowly rubbing their hands together.
12.34am
Amy has been evicted from the Big Brother house. Most of the housemates are in the lounge. Kara Louise is sitting on her own in the kitchen, giggling nervously and playing with her hair, while looking completely lost.
Carole who early yesterday morning spotted a dead fly in the pool. Is in the garden removing the water with a bucket. Before refilling the bucket in the bathtub, and sieving the water back into the pool, while muttering under her breath. Carole has been refilling the pool, while muttering under her breath for 1 hours and 24 minutes.
02.45am
Amanda, Sam and Brian are in the caravan with a blanket over their heads. Amanda, and Sam are telling Brian that they have had a very nice date, but they really have to go bed soon, otherwise they will wake up all grumpy in the morning. Brian tells Amanda and Sam that they can`t go to bed yet because they haven`t given him a kiss goodnight. Amanda and Sam make an EURGHHH!!!! sound before giggling very loudly, and tell Brian that he can have one kiss from each of them on the cheek. Brian then asks Amanda and Sam if they would like to say hello to his python before they go to bed? Amanda and Sam start clapping excitedly, and tell Brian that they didn`t know you were allowed to bring pets into the house, but that they would very much like to meet his python, and would they be allowed to give it a quick stroke? Brian starts laughing, and tells Amanda and Sam to shut up, before quickly undoing his zipper.
02.58am
Amanda and Sam are running around the garden making an EURGHHH!!! sound while giggling very loudly and telling Brian that he is a very rude boy. Brian is standing at the caravan door, with his erection hanging out of his trousers, laughing very loudly and telling Amanda and Sam that they are a right couple of doughnuts and to get back inside. Amanda and Sam tell Brian no way are they going back inside until he puts his python away, before giggling very loudly and pretending to throw up in the bushes.
Amanda and Sam have been running around the garden and pretending to throw up in the bushes for 12 1/2 minutes.
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