BB7 Highlights, day 37

THE DIRECTORS CUT

DAY 37
09.34am
Most of the housemates are still in bed. Pete has been in the bathroom practising his tourettes for 84 mins. Glyn is in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when Lea enters from the bedroom. Glyn asks her if she wants anything for breakfast. Lea tells him the only thing she is hungry for is c0ck, and that the only thing that will satisfy her appetite is great big juicy piece of man meat! Glyn looks gormlessly at her for a few seconds, before asking her if she would like some cornflakes instead.

10.54am
Susie is in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea. Richard is wearing a hat whilst mincing around Susie telling her how fabulous she is. Most of the other housemates are in the garden. Pete is rubbing savlon on an earthworm that Mikey stood on 23 mins ago. Imogen and lisa are by the pool discussing Nikki. Lisa says she f$$king hates her because shes two faced and is always talking about people behind their f$$king backs, Imogen agrees, saying she hates the way Nikki is always talking about people behind their backs "She`s just a two faced ass licking pr$ck" she says, completely missing the irony.

12.02pm
Susie is in the lounge drinking a cup of tea. Richard is wearing a different hat, and is again mincing around Susie telling her how fabulous she is. Mikey and Aislynne are in the bedroom, Aislynne is wearing a thong and is repeatedly bending over whenever she sees a camera moving in her direction. Mikey and the cameraman have each had an erection for 14 minutes.

12.22pm
Nikki is in the diary room complaining she isnt receiving enough airtime. Big Brother assures her that if she throws a few more tantrums and bursts into tears on a more regular basis, they can guarantee her at least 15 minutes of exposure per show. Nikki compains that this isnt enough and immediately bursts into tears, before storming out of the diary room and informing the other housemates that she is leaving for the third time that day.

2.01 pm
The housemates have been given a task. Each housemate has been supplied with a cattleprod and asked to elicit some sort of reaction from Susie within the next hour. Pete is first to try and immediately starts jabbing at Susie from different angles while throwing himself around in a wacky and outrageous manner. Susie blinks on several occasions but fails to show any real signs of life "W.A.N.K.E.R" shouts Pete.
Lea, never one to let the chance of a double entendre pass by, immediately thrusts her breasts into Pete`s face before telling him, that if he wants to poke her with his cattleprod she can gaurantee him a favourable reaction, Pete sniggers and gives her a token hug, before running away and hiding in the bedroom.

3.00pm
After 59 minutes of unsuccesfully trying to elicit a response from Susie, Big Brother informs the group that they have failed the task and will not be getting a reward. Richard puts on his third different hat of the day and tells everyone that it really doesn`t matter, they are all still absolutely fabulous.
Nikki storms off to the bathroom and starts practising her "I`m dissappointed because we`ve just failed another task" expression.

3.06pm
Lea is sitting in the kitchen licking salad cream from the end of a cucumber, before rubbing it seductively up and down her inner thigh. Pete is watching nervously from behind the sofa in the lounge.
Mikey and Imogen are in the bedroom discussing tonights eviction. Imogen suggests that they should be safe "They never evict the most interesting housemates" she says "and were dead interesting we are arent we?".
Mikey agrees with her "yeah were dead interesting we are" he says whilst nodding his head.
Imogen nods her head in agreement "You`re so right babes" she says "i`m so glad we had this little chat, its nice to have these interesting conversations dont you think?"
Mikey agrees with her "yeah it is" he says whilst nodding his head.

5.10pm
Glyn is in the diary room discussing the other housemates. Big Brother asks him if he fancies any of the girls in the house. Glyn replies that he fancies them all, "Its brilliant" he says excitedly "its like, i have all these girls, who are my friends now, which makes them all my girlfriends i suppose, which is weird, because i`ve never had a girlfriend that wasn`t covered in wool before"
Big Brother asks him which has been his favourite moment in the house so far, Glyn replies it was discovering electricity "Its brilliant" he says excitedly "its like, you have these lights and things that go on and off all the time, its amazing, then there`s cooking and stuff, its brilliant, i like, buttered a piece of bread earlier and then ate it all by myself, brilliant!"

6.10pm
Lisa is in the bathroom talking with Nikki about tonights eviction. Lisa is reassuring Nikki that she will be staying "The f$$king british public love you out there" she says, whilst extracting her knife from between Nikki`s shoulderblades "You`re dead mint you are, you`re bound to stay in". Nikki pulls several different facial expressions, and eventually settles on her "innocent, yet slightly surprised prepubescent schoolgirl look" before stamping her feet, threatening to leave if she`s evicted, and then immediately storming off to the diary room.

6.15 pm
Lea and Pete are in the bedroom. Lea is asking Pete for a favour. she wants him to stand over her splattering salad cream all over her face, while telling her "oooooh yeah you love it you bitch" while Lea looks seductively into the camera. Pete laughs nervously before declining her request and giving her a token hug.

7.45pm
Glyn is in the lounge giving Aislynne a back massage. Aislynne is wearing a thong. Glyn and the cameraman have each had an erection for 48 mins. Richard has put on a different hat and is talking to Susie about how fabulous a nice cup of tea is.

7.54pm
Lea is nowhere. talking to the hedge shaped like a man, "God i need a c0ck" she tells him whilst stroking his leafy thigh "if i dont get a good seeing to soon i think i`m going to explode, i bet you have a lovely penis in there haven`t you big boy? you just need the right woman to bring it out of you thats all" Lea drops to her knees and starts rummaging around in the hedge shaped like a mans shrubbery for approx 56 minutes.
Eventually a disappointed Lea gives up and sits back down, before smiling, clicking her fingers and rushing back into the house.
8.50pm Lea is in the diary room requesting a pair of gardening shears and a large bottle of lubricant.

9.24pm
The housemates have been gathered in the lounge. Davina announces that lisa is the next housemate to be evicted. Richard leaps off the sofa shouting "YES" before punching the air in delight and giving Lisa a consoling hug.
Nikki is using her "startled rabbit caught in the headlights expression" as Richard and Pete start exchanging high fives. Lisa is wandering around the room telling everyone how f$$king excited it is to be evicted while clenching her mancunian fists in anger.

11.45pm
Lisa has been evicted. Imogen and Nikki are talking in the kitchen. Imogen says shes glad Lisa has gone "She was so two faced" she says "she was always talking about people behind their backs and ass licking, i hate that kind of stuff". Nikki agrees, saying she hates two facedness and ass licking because its just so false. "Youre so right babes" agrees Imogen completely missing the irony.

2.01am
Most of the housemates are asleep. Pete is throwing himself around the diary room in a wacky and outrageous manner, whilst telling Big Brother how he wished he was hung like a baby hamster.
Lea is nowhere. naked and riding vigourously up and down on the hedge shaped like a man while shouting out profanities, and telling the hedge shaped like a man to treat her like the b1tch she is!

big brother immediately calls lea to the diary room.

For more stories over the past 24-hours log onto www.channel4.com/bigbrother